W

 

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.

Charles Wadsworth

 

It is not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

Addison Walker

 

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

Alice Walker (b. 1944) American writer

 

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.

Alice Walker (b. 1944) American writer

 

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.

Alice Walker (b. 1944) American writer The Color Purple (1982)

 

This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.

Horace Walpole (1717-1797) English novelist, letter writer Letter (16-Aug-1776)

 

The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one’s relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident.

Sir Hugh Walpole

 

Of all the plagues a lover bears,
Sure rivals are the worst.
I can endure my own despair,
But not another’s hope.
William Walsh

What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it.

Andy Warhol (1928-1987) American artist, author The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: From A to B and Back Again

 

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

Booker T. Washington (1856-1915) American educator, writer

 

“Think about it: We went into slavery pagans; we came out Christians. We went into slavery pieces of property; we came out American citizens. We went into slavery with chains clanking about our wrists; we came out with American ballots in our hands. ... When we rid ourselves of prejudice, or racial feeling, and look the facts in the face, we must acknowledge, notwithstanding the cruelty and moral wrong of slavery, we are in a stronger and more hopeful position, materially, intellectually, morally, and religiously, than is true of an equal number of black people in any other portion of the globe.”

Booker T. Washington (1856-1915) American educator, writer

 

There is a rank due to the United States, among nations, which will be withheld, if not absolutely lost, by the reputation of weakness. If we desire to avoid insult, we must be able to repel it; if we desire to secure peace, one of the most powerful instruments of our rising prosperity, it must be known that we are at all times ready for war.

George Washington (1717-1799) US President, military leader The Federalist Papers

 

I think everybody likes to see the fat girl get the hot guy and win.
John Waters, on the stage version of Hairspray

 

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

John Waton (1850-1907) Scottish writer, preacher [pseud. Ian Maclaren]

 

    CALVIN (walking through snowy field): You know, Hobbes, it seems the only time most people go outside is to walk their cars. We have houses, electricity, plumbing, heat .... Maybe we're so sheltered and comfortable that we’ve lost touch with the natural world and forgotten our place in it. Maybe we've lost our awe of nature. That's why I want to ask *you*, as a tiger, a wild animal close to nature, what do you think we're put on Earth to do. What's our purpose in life? Why are we here?
    HOBBES: We're here to devour each other alive.
    CALVIN (in the house): Turn on the lights! Turn up the heat!

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes (6 Jan 1991)

 

CALVIN: It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

 

    CALVIN: Well, Hobbes, I guess there's a moral to all this.
    HOBBES: What's that?
    CALVIN: "Snow goons are bad news."
    HOBBES: *That* lesson certainly ought to be inapplicable elsewhere in life.
    CALVIN: I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes (19 Jan 1991)

 

   CALVIN: A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

CALVIN: It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

CALVIN: I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: Dad, how do people make babies?
   DAD: Most people just go to Sears, buy the kit, and follow the assembly instructions.
   CALVIN: I came from Sears??
   DAD: No, you were a Blue Light Special at K Mart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: Do you believe our destinies are determined by the stars?
   HOBBES: Nah.
   CALVIN: Oh, I do.
   HOBBES: Really? How come?
   CALVIN: Life's a lot more fun when you're not responsible for your actions.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

   

   CALVIN: I don't know which is worse, ... that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: I think life should be more like TV. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in thirty minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

In the long term it would make me happy to go to school and be successful, in the short term it would make me happy to go out and have fun, but in the VERY long term, I know which one will make better memories.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

CALVIN: I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life...procrastinating and rationalizing.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

CALVIN: I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: I'm a simple man, Hobbes.
   HOBBES: You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!
   CALVIN: I'm a simple man with complex tastes.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything is different.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: Reality continues to ruin my life.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: When I grow up, I'm not going to read the newspaper and I'm not going to follow complex issues and I'm not going to vote. That way I can complain when the government doesn't represent me. Then, when everything goes down the tubes, I can say the system doesn't work and justify my further lack of participation.
   HOBBES: An ingeniously self-fulfilling plan.
   CALVIN: It's a lot more fun to blame things than to fix them.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
   HOBBES: What mood is that?
   CALVIN: Last minute panic.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   CALVIN: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
   HOBBES: What's misunderstood about you?
   CALVIN: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   DAD: The world isn't fair, Calvin.
   CALVIN: I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

CALVIN: I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me. You can relate this little story when the reporters ask how I went bad.
Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes Scientific Progress Goes Boink

 

 

   HOBBES: A new decade is coming up.
   CALVIN: Yeah, big deal! Hmph. Where are the flying cars? Where are the Moon colonies? Where are the personal robots and the zero gravity boots, huh? You call this a new decade?! You call this the future?? Ha! Where are the rocket packs? Where are the disintegration rays? Where are the floating cities?
   HOBBES: Frankly, I'm not sure people have the brains to manage the technology they've got.
   CALVIN: I mean, look at this! We still have the weather?! Give me a break!

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

   HOBBES: First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain, and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves.
   CALVIN: That's love?!?
   HOBBES: Medically speaking.
   CALVIN: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes

 

I'd say that crossed the line from Ironic Coincidence to Evil Omen.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist Calvin & Hobbes (11 May 1990)

 

This is more or less what I would do if I had the power to dream every night of anything I wanted. Some months I would probably fulfill all the more obvious wishes. There might be palaces and banquets, players and dancing girls, fabulous bouts of love, and sunlit gardens beside lakes, with mountains beyond. There would next be long conversations with sages, contemplation of supreme works of art, hearing and playing music, voyages to foreign lands, flying out into space to see the galaxies, and delving into the atom to watch the wiggling wavicles. But the night would come when I might want to add a little spice of adventure -- perhaps a dream of dangerous mountain climbing, of rescuing a princess from a dragon, or, better, an unpredictable dream in which I do not know what will happen. Once this has started, I might get still more daring. I would wish to dream whole lifetimes, packing seventy years into a single night. I would dream that I am not dreaming at all, that I will neve

Alan Watts (1915-1973) Anglo-American philosopher, writer The Book

 

All battles are fought by scared men who would have rather have been somewhere else.

John Wayne (1907-1979) American actor, director [b. Marion Michael Morrison]

 

Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life.

Simone Weil

 

In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, ‘Let there be Light.’ And there was still nothing. But, you could see it.
Dave Weinstein

 

Closing his eyes tightly so he wouldn’t see anything Horrible he might accidentally conjure up, Tas thrust the ring over his thumb.  (At the last moment he opened his eyes, so that he wouldn’t miss seeing anything Horrible he might conjure up.)

Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman, Time of the Twins

 

If people would just label their belongings things like this wouldn’t happen.

Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman (spoken by Tasslehoff Burrfoot)

 

ANTIMODES: A mage’s soul is forged in the crucible of magic.  You choose to go voluntarily into the fire.  The blaze might well destroy you.  But if you survive, every blow of the hammer will serve to shape your being.  Every drop of water wrung from you will temper and strengthen your soul.

Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman, Soulforge

 

But somewhere, sometime, someone must trust enough to reach out his hand to the enemy, though he knows the hand could be cut off at the wrist.
Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman

 

All my life I've been my own person. The choices I made, I made of my own free will. I was never held in thrall by anyone or anything... Bow to others in reverence and respect, but never in slavery.
Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman

 

We pity him.  We hate him.  We fear him – all because there is a little of him in each of us, though we admit it to ourselves only in the darkest part of the night.

Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman, Time of the Twins (spoken by Justarius of Raistlin)

 

The kender sat quiet and subdued, so unhappy that he actually returned Sturm’s money pouch.  He returned it to Caramon, but the thought was there.

Margaret Weis Soulforge

 

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed -- they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce …? The cuckoo clock.

Orson Welles (1915-1985) American writer, director, actor The Third Man

 

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Herbert George Wells (1866-1946) British writer

 

No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else's draft.
Herbert George Wells (1866-1946) British writer

 

You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something.
Herbert George Wells (1866-1946) British writer

 

I generally avoid temptation---unless I can’t resist it.

Mae West

 

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.

Mae West

 

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat, or a prostitute.
Rebecca West

It is one thing to wish to have the truth on our side; and another to wish sincerely to be on the side of truth.

Richard Whately (1787-1863) English logician and theologian

 

People are morons. I don't have any other explanation. I really don't.

Joss Whedon (b. 1964) American screenwriter, producer (on Hollywood)

 

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to save the world, and a desire to savor the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

E.B. White (1899-1985) American author, critic, humorist

 

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else do it wrong without comment.

T.H. White (1906-1964) English writer

 

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can have.

T.H. White (1906-1964) English writer

 

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

Katherine Whitehorn (b. 1928) English writer and journalist

 

Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.

Katherine Whitehorn (b. 1928) English writer and journalist

 

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: “It might have been!”

John Greenleaf Whittier

 

Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought of half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Charlotte Whitton (1896-1975) Canadian politician Canada Month, comment after being elected mayor of Ottawa (Jun. 1963)

 

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

Dennis Wholey (b. 1937) American writer, television personality

 

Nonconformity is an empty goal, and rebellion against prevailing opinion merely because it is prevailing should no more be praised than acquiescence to it. Indeed, it is often a mask for cowardice, and few are more pathetic than those who flaunt outer differences to expiate their inner surrender.

William H. Whyte, Jr. (1917-1999) The Organization Man, ch. 1 (1956)

 

There is one right I would not grant anyone. And that is the right to be indifferent.

Elie Wiesel (b. 1928) Romanian-American novelist, Nobel Laureate, Holocaust survivor

 

The act of writing is for me often nothing more than the secret or conscious desire to carve words on a tombstone: to the memory of a town forever vanished, to the memory of a childhood in exile, to the memory of all those I loved and who, before I could tell them I loved them, went away.
Elie Wiesel (b. 1928) Romanian-American novelist, Nobel Laureate, Holocaust survivor

 

There are victories of the soul and spirit, and sometimes even if you lose, you win.

Elie Wiesel (b. 1928) Romanian-American novelist, Nobel Laureate, Holocaust survivor

 

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.
Elie Wiesel (b. 1928) Romanian-American novelist, Nobel Laureate, Holocaust survivor

 

A true friend stabs you in the front.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

Nothing is so aggravating as calmness.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

No man is rich enough to buy back his past.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist


Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking other people to live as one wishes to live.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist Sebastian Melmoth

 

It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack of style.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

To recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet, wit, dramatist

 

Trust your instincts. Your mistakes might as well be your own instead of someone else's.

Billy Wilder (b. 1906) Austrian-American film producer, director

 

Many who have spent a lifetime in it can tell us less of love than the child that lost a dog yesterday.

Thorton Wilder

 

I have a theory that all traffic lights are secretly synchronized — you just have to drive fast enough. Testing this theory has lead me to develop a second theory: Most police officers are NOT men of science.

Paul Wiley (contemp.)

 

I wish I were telepathic. Not just to read people's minds, which would be cool, but to cut down on my cellular phone bill.

Paul Wiley (contemp.)

 

Greed is envy with its sleeves rolled up.

George F. Will (b. 1941) American political commentator

 

I think if you'd had television cameras at Gettysburg, this would be two nations today. People would not have put up with that carnage if they saw it up close.
George F. Will (b. 1941) American political commentator

 

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

George F. Will (b. 1941) American political commentator

 

I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy.

Bern Williams (b. 1929) English philosopher

 

Bark: This is a sound made by dogs when excited. Dogs bark at milkmen, postmen, yourself, visitors to the house and other dogs; some of them bark at nothing. For some reason dogs tend not to bark at burglars, bailiffs and income tax collectors, at whom they way their tails in the most friendly manner.
Geoffrey Williams

 

Ah, yes, "divorce," from the Latin word meaning "to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

Robin Williams (b. 1951) American comic

 

We tell lies when we are afraid, ... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.

Ted Williams (b. 1918) American baseball player To Green Angel Tower

 

If people behaved in the way nations do they would all be put in straitjackets.

Tennessee Williams (1911-1983) American playwright

 

Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
Gary Wills

 

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

 

No plan can prevent a stupid person from doing the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time — but a good plan should keep a concentration from forming.

Charles E. Wilson (1890-1961) US Secretary of Defense; engineer, industrialist

 

As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, “Relax... you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients, “ but another kept reminding me, “Howard, you are a veterinarian. “

Dick Wilson

 

If you won't write it and sign it, don't say it.

Earl Wilson (1907-1987) American columnist

 

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you’re scared to death.

Earl Wilson (1907-1987) American columnist

 

No amount of sophistication is going to allay the fact that all your knowledge is about the past and all your decisions are about the future.

Ian E. Wilson (contemp.) Canadian National Archivist, historian

 

It is remarkable, in cats, that the outer life they reveal to their master is one of perpetual confident boredom. All they betray of the hidden life is by means of symbol; if it were not for the recurring evidence of murder -- the disemboweled rabbits, the headless flickers, the torn squirrels -- we should forever imagine our cats to be simple pets whose highest ambition is to sleep in the best soft chair, whose worst crime is to sharpen their claws on carpeting.
Robley Wilson, Jr.

 

It is just as hard to do your duty when men are sneering at you as when they are shooting at you.

Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) US President (1913-20), educator, pol. Scientist

 

People tell me that the movies should be more like real life. I disagree. It is real life that should be more like the movies.

Walter Winchell (1856-1972) American journalist

 

When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for you to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.

Barbara J. Winter

 

Demand perfection of yourself and you'll seldom attain it. Fear of making a mistake is the biggest single cause of making one. Relax — pursue excellence, not perfection.

Lloyd "Bud" Winter (1909-1985) American track coach

 

If there were a verb meaning 'to believe falsely,' it would not have any significant first person, present indicative.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian-English philosopher

 

No man consciously chooses evil because it is evil: he only mistakes it for the happiness he seeks.

Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-1797) English writer [Mary Shelley; Mary W. Godwin]

 

The time at length arrives, when grief is rather an indulgence than a necessity; and the smile that plays upon the lips, though it might be deemed sacrilege, is not banished.
Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-1797) English writer [Mary Shelley; Mary W. Godwin]

 

Virtue can only flourish amongst equals.

Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-1797) English writer [Mary Shelley; Mary W. Godwin]

 

It is justice, not charity, that is wanting in the world.

Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-1797) English writer [Mary Shelley; Mary W. Godwin]

"A Vindication of the Rights of Women" (1792)

 

Fundamentalists] never wonder why, if herpes is sent by “god” to scourge “adulterers,” whooping cough and measles weren’t purposely created to lambaste children.
Fred Woodworth

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

Virginia Woolf

The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.

William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet

 

I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

 

Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities.
Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

 

In relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist

 

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist

 

I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I say, “Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it.”

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist

 

Next week I’m going to have an MRI to see whether or not I have claustrophobia.

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist

 

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist

 

Wit is more necessary than beauty; and I think no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome woman agreeable without it.

William Wycherley (1640-1716) English dramatist The Country Wife

 

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.

Lois Wyse


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